Failure To Wank

I went to bed
My cheeks were red
I felt so hot
How could I not?

Reached down my hand
Did twist and bend
Did pump and grind
But could not find

One finger or two
I don’t know what to do
A twist, a turn
I want to scream and burn

A stroke, a spank
I’m as stiff as a plank
Is this a prank
I’m failing to wank

Whatever happened to my digital pleasure
It’s something I discovered in my days of leisure
My dirty little secret my libidinal treasure
It gave me joy and wonder beyond any measure